Everything about life, just everything?

I'm 14 my life sucks. Yeah its bettter than some peoples I realize that. Now if you already know your gonna ***** at me for something then get the **** off my page. I dont want to hear it. Anyways, to all you who have decided to stay on here and NOT ***** here you go. Im not even in ninth grade and have resolved to drinking as my way out of everything. im 14 and already an alcoholic. I don't know my real dad and my step dad cheats on my mom 24-7 and calls me a dirty whore. I lost my virginity in the faculty bathroom of my school to the boy I love. (And dont sit here and tell me that I dont love him and Im too young because I do. Ive tried to kill myself 3 times because I cant have him back. He hasnt actually full taken me back for over a year, im his ****'n'go i guess you could call it, and I stioll cry every night because of him. even when im with friends) I belive everything he says and think he'll come back. but I really know he wont. I have had pregancy scares twice with him. not to mention hes turned me into a whore. I go to counciling and take anti-depressants. Nothing helps. Im not techniclly suicidal anymore, but I still dont want to live my life. I want to die I just dont have the want/need to do it anymore. Worst part is im planning on getting pregnant this summer. sad part is Im one of the nicest girls in my school. I have respect for everyone but myself. I put everyone else first. I dont want to hurt people so no i wont kill myself. I just want to be happy again. help please. what do I do?