I dont feel like ive bonded with my daughter, mums advice please :)?

this is my first baby, I had a bit of a stressful pregnancy, my daughter has kidney problems and my water broke early so she was born early, I had to have a emergancy c-section, which was so scary and when she was born I couldn't hold her because I was shaking so much, my boyfriend finished with me when I was pregnant and didn't show up for my daughter's birth, after she was born I got poorly and my mum had to take over for a bit, and my worry was she might not know I'm her mum, I love my daughter but I don't ever feel I've had the 'rush of love', she is nearly 7months old now, also I've always felt I'm a rubbish mum and not doing good enough, I've visited my doctor who has given me anti depressants and said I have slight PND, I don't think there working, I just don't feel like I've completley bonded with her, and I see other mums with there children and they seem so happy etc, and I think my baby loves my mum more because she looked after her a lot when she was younger, advice please!!